22 February 2013

Avert Your Eyes While I Tear Out My Hair for a Second...

Sometimes people just make me go
I just got an email that got my heart pounding so fast and so angrily that I could hear it in my ears.  Tonight has sucked, truly, independent of this email, so perhaps I should not have responded.

And yet...

I did.

Look.  This afternoon I was ambushed by belly rubs, questions about the baby, how I was feeling, what I was naming him, did I have clothes picked out, do I have a registry, hey remember how far behind you are on everything, and also entertain us while we play grandma and great aunt.  I am NOT very good at talking baby.  Maybe I would have been, if I hadn't lost my first.  I AM REALLY NOT good at people touching my belly.

You think you are rubbing the baby.

I feel you touching the scars from where they cut out my first.

Don't fucking touch my stomach unless you have an inkling of what I went through and I trust you a great, great deal.

Then I got a great foster orientation out of the way and handled, so as soon as she pays her pet deposit we can stick a critter with her, which is great, except she blocked me on facebook so I can't actually invite her now to our only means of group communication and announcements.  Awesome.

Then I got preached at for about an hour about how badly our finances suck, how a bank will never give us a car loan, how we NEED two cars so what are we going to do, how we HAVE to let his mother do this or that with his finances with/without his permission, and just generally how fucked we are.  FUN TIMES.

I get an hour and a half nap before I have to get up for work.  At work I learn that the hissyfit the breakfast lady had over somebody taking home the storage room keys yesterday apparently got blamed on me.

Even though I needed to get in the storage room, too, had tried every key present twice, and checked all the other drawers in case they were misplaced.  I'm not exactly certain what I am being accused of.  Hiding them?  Lying about them?  What do they think I did?

So hey, when you email me saying that you think one of our ex-fosters screwed us on purpose, and gave us a check she knew was bad, even though you took TWO WEEKS to deposit it and I WARNED you her finances were rocky, so it needed to go in quickly...

I see red.

I hear my heart pounding.

My hackles raise.

We are NOT the kind of organization who trash talks our members, ex-members, or affiliates behind their backs.  We are not the kind of bitter, nasty people who will throw someone under the bus who DID give one of our pets a very good home, even if they haven't paid by a year later.  I am not participating in an email ring of dirt throwing because you don't want it to be your fault.

It WAS your fault, and you will NOT speak about our fosters, current or past, in that manner in front of me.  My job is their voice, their liaison, and their communication.  You will give her the benefit of the doubt because that is the only way you will see a dime without threatening to take the dog back, which is just fucking stupid.

To be fair, I didn't say all that.  No, I said he was out of line, that she stands no benefit to a bounced check and it looked funny on her account, too, and to leave it to me.

Basically, take your pissy attitude and shove it up your ass because this is my job and I am doing it.  If you did yours, it is entirely possible there would not have been a problem in the first place.

Ugh.  I need to be put to bed.

But tomorrow at 4:00 I am picking up a foster dog that I really shouldn't be, but AJ wants us to.  And at 7:00 I am going in to piercing because the boss wants a night off and thinks he is doing me a favor by giving me the slow portion of a Friday night shift.  And I can't say no, because, it is a favor and I need the money.  I don't even really know where I am sleeping tomorrow night...with the baying hound dog and the ants?  With the crazy bitch who wants to remind me that I can't afford to be a parent?  On a couch at the hotel?

I guess we'll see.

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