Heavy

Bring lightness?

But I am so heavy.

The mass of my grief pulls me down

To the floor

To the center of the earth

Gravity like giant hands

Gripping my arms

Gutting me open to grab at my core

Sadness as a weighted blanket

Stretching over my head, my mouth

Sinking me lower and lower

My mouth is too tired to speak

My muscles are too swollen to push

My body is too dense with memories

I don't bring lightness or light

You can't lift me up

I am tremendous

I am so full of all things

I am heavy like history

I am rooted like history

I am strong, forgettable, and solid

I am invisible and sufficient

I am the floor you step on

I am the arms around you when you fall

And I do not need to be light

To be everything to someone