29 August 2013

Things in My Life a Breast Reduction Would Change/Improve

  • Bra shopping/wearing
  • Back pain
  • Heat rash underneath them
  • Appearance - no more boob-sized nipples, no more head-sized boobs
  • The ability to find/wear a swimsuit again
  • Running without holding my chest
  • Wearing appropriately-sized shirts instead of oversized ones
  • Wearing low-cut tops without looking easy
  • No more deep-cutting lines on my shoulders and rib cage
  • Posture
  • The ability to wear corsets again, pretty much at all, but especially without looking obscene
  • No more fucking anime or Dairy Queen jokes
  • No more pain while driving
  • No giant uniboob from limited bra options
  • Proportion - turns out, huge boobs make you look fat, thanks to pulling clothing out around your middle
  • Stretch marks, more and more stretch marks
  • The pain of accidentally and suddenly dropping a boob (in shower, putting on bra, etc.)
  • The look of horror on a person's face when they see my boobs sans-shirt

I wish I was exaggerating the last one.

My mom.  The doctor.  The chick at the fitting rooms.  The woman who helped size me.  The other woman who couldn't size me.

I'm a freak show.

I want it to stop.


  1. I have totally been there. Big boobs are the worst. I have never heard the dropping thing from anyone but me. Maybe we are boob twins. Lets start a donation program. We get a reduction and donate it to deserving a cups. They are always begging me for boobs anyway. "Give me some of them if you want a reduction." Silly a cups

  2. I never understood that. I think when people say they want bigger boobs they mean one or two cup sizes. Nobody wants gigantic tits. Nobody who can't afford a custom wardrobe and a chiropractor, anyways.