I ran them both off on purpose

I had valid, justified reasons.

And I have two men still asking me for sex and a relationship anyways. Two men I've pissed off by disregarding them and putting myself first, but who will say in the same breath that I should fuck them. Two men I've run off, though. In a row. When things got close. Not because they did, but definitely when they did.

I've never really broken up with someone before. Just waited for them to leave me.

Is this normal and right?

Or do I just really want to blow up every interaction that approaches the romantic.

Do I just need to be alone? Do I need to fail, like she does? Or is this how people feel when they are the ones breaking up?

So you can make me come, that doesn't make you Jesus.

Side note to self - please remember that every person you become involved with in any capacity will at some point be upset with you and broken up with, so maybe choose new flings and partners based on what they will do when you say no. Like, maybe look ahead at all.

Side side note - why do I have to be careful to break up with someone sweetly in case they turn suddenly aggressive? I mean he wouldn't probably. I can't do this with people. I can't trust them not to flip or hate me or manipulate me. It's better for me to be alone and sure of myself, than with someone I cannot be sure of.